Swansea songwriter and musician Angharad has released a second single, the follow up to ‘Because I Am A Woman‘ from forthcoming debut album Motherland and we are so pleased to premiere the stark black and white video for ‘Postpartum‘ today. Made with videographer Jamie Panton (Trampolene, Chroma, CaStLeS) – who, happily, is a fan of the dark and gothic – it reflects the physical and mental challenges a new mother faces. The visuals sugarcoat nowt. Angharad had two clear visions for this video.
‘Firstly, I wanted to create a domestic scene with a sofa at the heart of it. In the first few months of early motherhood – the fourth trimester – that is exactly what my world had become:
“I’m a prisoner to the sofa
and I’ve lost what makes me me.
Is it true that all I am
is a mother to my baby?”
The second idea I wanted to explore was the image of being submerged in a bath of milk. During the first year of motherhood, I often felt like I was drowning, chronically sleep-deprived, an anxious mess, my nervous-system in overdrive.
Jamie has certainly captured these feelings in the video, and taken them to a whole other level. What we’ve produced is actually darker than I had initially anticipated . I know it’s not an easy listen, neither is it an easy watch. But I hope we haven’t lost the dark humour of the situation. It’s difficult, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.
At the end, I wanted to bring it back to reality. The sofa, and a mother feeding her baby. My son was bought to me for the feeding scene, before being taken home to bed. Jamie and I continued filming in an empty industrial unit in Clydach, Swanaea until gone midnight. This was probably the longest I’d been without my son. And yes, of course, I felt guilty for persuing my art. A mother’s guilt will never wane.”
Postpartum:
Chorus
I’m exhausted and I’m broken
Exhausted and I’m broke
I’m exhausted and I’m broken
Get off my tits.
My tits are like two canon balls
Explosive lumps of flesh and milk
They weigh me down and pull my neck
Like giant knuckles on my chest.
Let me eat and let me sleep
And fucking let me piss in peace
Let me swing my arms around
And have the use of both my hands.
I pull out clumps of hair each day
Down the plug it flows away
Swathes of the stuff on the bathroom tiles
No time to clean, it’ll have to stay.
The torment of the tendons in my hands,
I had no clue
But Mothers Thumb’s the real deal
Bloody hell, who knew?!
Chorus
I’m tender and I’m fragile
Too scared to take a shit
What if I tear apart again
Jesus Christ, that would be it.
I’m a prisoner to the sofa
And I’ve lost what makes me me
Is it true that all I am
Is a mother to my baby.
Chorus
Achieve nothing and survive Is the motto of the day
This is how it is right now
For how long, I cannot say.
For how long, I cannot say.
For how long, I cannot say.
I’m exhausted…
And I’m broke…
I’m exhausted…
And I’m broken.